GOALS!!!

Not soccer goals! REAL LIFE GOALS!!!
Here are a few.....

1) Get GED
2)quit smoking
3)look into a college
4)save MONEY!!!!
5)Buy a house
6)Lose Weight
7)


I remember writing in my journal along time ago goals for the time I was 18. I am not real sure where that journal is but I know I have not accomplished anything on that list yet. I am starting over!! New list that is somewhat practical!! I know I can acheive!!

New saying: The little engine that could~ I KNOW I CAN!!!!
I will keep trying til I achevie what I want! I will not give up nor will I kick myself for screwing up. All I can do is try, try and try again. Practice really does make perfect!! YOU CAN DO IT! BELEIVE! (beleive to acheive)

Picking back up from where I left off...

Lets see....
Saturday, October 6th: Emma had a soccer game but we did not go. We rested awhile longer. T had a game at noon. My Dad got out of the hospital Saturday morning. After the game Steph, Amy and I went shopping at Opry Mills. Then we all went to Stephs that night for Pizza. We got home around 11pm.
Sunday we went to lunch at Applebees. We got T's costume. He is going to be a Ninja. We got some stuff for the little party we are planning for the 20th. We went home and rested the rest of the afternoon. I had to come to work ofcourse!
Monday~ No soccer practice for T today. We went to visit my Mom and Dad for alittle while. Granny got the results from her PET scan. It all looks great! She has to go this Friday for a ultrasound to see what the other stuff is in her breast area that they did not know about. Next Wed the 17th she will have the Masectomy.
Tuesday~ T had soccer at 6pm. We picked my Dad up and took him with us. We went to Strattons and had supper. We had a great time. Then we had to run by Wal-mart. THere was a snake in the parking lot. Ofcourse Steven and my Dad had to get out and play wtih it. Silly Kids! I am thinking the theme for that LO is "snake ragglers" They looked so funny trying to get it over to the side.
So I think that brings me back up to date.

Scarlett is growing so fast. I wish it would slow down abit. I feel like I am missing something because of working at night and being so tired during the day. I feel like this is pushing back her progress. I know she is growing great but I still wonder! She ate some Pears and Peas for supper tonight but she gagged at the Peas. She is not really acting like she wants food yet. In her own time I guess. She is gobbling the milk really good though.

Stevie is still enjoying Soccer. His last game will be the 20th. He will be sad when it is over. He loves it. I think we are going to find something else for him to do this winter. Maybe Karate! We got his pics back today from soccer. THey are great! I ordered him some sports cards but they spelled our last name wrong. THey put an S on the end of Baskin!! I will be calling tomorrow!!

I am going today (Wed.) to take my Practice GED test. After I take this then if I pass good enough they will send me for my "real" test. I am nervous and excited!! I would like to go to school after this is over. I would like to got to be a CNA or MA. Certified Nursing Assistant or Medical Assistant. I will see though. I am not sure!

catch up!

Lets see where do I even start??
I should be a better writer and start writing more like I planned.
Ummmm....Let see....

Stevie had a soccer game on Sept. 29th, Saturday but it was put off so he played it on Monday night. Emma had a game and we watched hers. Steven got the tree cut down in the backyard that had fallen a month or so ago. We went to eat at Logans and went to Hobby Lobby.
Sunday~ Scarlett and I went to church then we went to Grannys for lunch. I made Spaghetti and Meatballs. Baked with Cheese! Momma took Daddy to the ER because of his phenmonia. They kept him and put him on oxygen. They also said he had a touch of Emphesema(?sp) I remember them saying this when we were little though. Anyways he stayed in the hospital at Baptist all week came home Saturday the 8th.
Not really too much the rest of the week. On Wednesday the 3rd Granny had a PET scan. The results will be in Monday the 8th. I stayed with my Dad for a little while on Wed. while my Mom was with Granny. I stayed for a while Thursday afternoon while she was at work too. Friday Stevie should've had soccer but he did not go instead Steven and I went to see Korn. We got $10 tickets! We sat in the section they were calling the Korn Hole!
Gotta go for now!

Aww weekends!

Well this was a great weekend! No rest as usual though.
Friday I got a new camera! A Nikon D40! LOVE IT!!
This was also Amys birthday! She turned 30.
Saturday: Emma and Stevie had soccer games. They did good. Em wanted a doughnut the whole time though. LOL!! THat was cute! I got to help out in the concession stand. Then it was T's turn to play. He did really good. I am proud of that little guy!!
Then we went to Walmart and got stuff for Amy's party and went home. T was calling it a weiner party!! HA HA!! Weinie Roast!! We had a GREAT time being with everyone. Scarlett got tired though so we left at almost 9pm.
Sunday: Homecoming at church me and the kids went. It was a great service. Kids were somewhat good. Except T saying how bored he was the whole time! UGH! Then we ate lunch at church. We set with my Granny. Mom, Steph, Amy, Emma, Izzy and Marlene. The babies were playing in the floor and I think they were talking and having a cute conversation. They had booboo lips at different points. I got some cute pics and plan to scrapbook them. I think the title may be "A conversation between cousins"
Then we went home and went to Toysrus. Memaw and Papaw got Scar a new jumparoo and T a Home Depot set of tools. He looks so cute in his hardhat. We got some new bottles and stuff too. THen off to the house were Daddy put the jumperoo together and Scar played for a few minutes. Then off to bed. We watched Simpsons and Family Guy with T. Good cuddle time. I love that little guy!!

Lets see what else from the week??
Thursday: Scarlett turned 5 months old. Daddy had a class at work all day about work behavior and how to be "happy"?? Hmmm??? He is a supervisor now!! YEAH! Also T had practice.
Wednesday: I went to see a counsler about my GED process. I am PROUD to say I am almost there!! This wed. I will take the official practice test and if I pass that then the official GED!! I could be done before November!! YEAH!! It took 10 years!
Tuesday: Can't remember anything really??
Monday: Soccer practice.
Sunday the 16th we had a family lunch at Granny's. I made meatlaof and mashed potatos and mac and cheese. We had a great dinner! Hope to have dinners more often!

Bad, Very Bad Cancer!!

That is such a nasty word. It makes me shiver just saying CANCER.
Well yes Granny had her surgery today. They had to take all lymph nodes out. The reason for this is because they found cancer in the main one and it has a chance of getting to the others so they take all out. They take them out at your arm pitt. Lovely huh?? Granny is doing good. She is in very good spirits. I don't think she would really let us know how she felt either way. She is a very strong person. I admire her for her strength and everything she has dealt with in her life. Its amazing how you can go through so much in one lifetime and you don't show others how bad you are bothered by it. I know she has to have her moments but she is good about covering them up from others. As close as I am to Granny I have never really seen her break down. She has never let it out. (atleast not with me) I know sometimes I complain how things are and she does too but I guess she has a right???
Today I spent my day at the hospital with my Mom waiting to hear about Granny. Uncle Horace and Judy came out it was nice to sit and talk with them while we ate our lunch. Judy has had breast cancer also and just finished up her last treatment. She looks good and seems to be same old Judy. (atleast to me) I have not had much sleep and I think I may of dosed off while working a few times oh and the one time my boss scared the piss out of me. Gosh he came in here and banged the door. I was just laying my head on the desk. I have learned my listen no more while I ver do that again. I missed T and Scar today. I usually get to spend most of the day with them but since I was with Granny I did not. Oh well i will make up for it.
I brought T some toys for beign good and some doughnuts. YUM!!

Well I have to admit I am now one of those people I wrote about before. You know the people who are sick that should go to the doc in there pjs and not dress up. Well I was not really dressed up but I did not wear my pjs either. I went to the doc today. I have been having a cough and aches all over. They did a chest x-ray and I have bronchitis and possibly the flu. She gave me some strong meds and I just want to sleep. Uhh but here I am at work and I can barely function right because of the meds make me sleepy. My bed miss' me. I miss my pillow.

Today I went to the doc then Stevie was to have soccer practice and his pics made in his uniform. Well practice was cancelled because it rained so much. Got pics done. $60 for a nice package and extras like more wallets and a set of 8 sports cards. They have his stats on them. Really cute. I remember seeing these when my cousins played ball and I think my brother even had some. I am excited about this whole new chapter of sports. When we were little we never got to do much like this because of the ride issues. I want Stevie to be able to do what he wants to do and I will make sure it happens for him. He is already wanting to play baseball. I am going to look into it. I think it would love it.

Well I think thats about it for today not too much excitement. I am soooo tired though I wish I could go home no luck I am sure til 6am.

Weekend is over :(

Well it was a great weekend. Just wish it could be longer. The holiday last week got me spoiled.
~ Friday Stevie had soccer practice then we went to eat at Riverview.

~ Saturday morning got up bright and early for Stevie and Emma's soccer games. They were so cute. Emma did not want to play she wanted to stay with us mainly. Stevie did very good I was so surprised at how good he was listening and he even kicked the ball several times and got it to the goal where a team member was waiting for him. It was so cute. I could not have been anymore proud than I was then. It is weird when they are babies you don't know what they will become you can only hope the best. I am so proud of that little guy!!!

~Sunday we went to Riverview and meet with My Mom, Steph, Amy, Emma and Izzy for lunch. Steph got back from Florida on Saturday it was good to see her after being gone all week. The rest of the day was pretty lazy.

Steven is getting over a cold infection something?? He went to the doc on Friday so hopefully they will call with the results of his test they did. But now I got something I am so stuffy and cold.

Granny has surgery on Wednesday for breast cancer. Yet again! THis time its her other breast. ***Thoughts and Prayers***

Well right now its Monday 2:30am. We have soccer practice today and pictures. I am so excited to be a soccer Mom!!

I did not get to scrapbook as much as I wanted to this weekend I had to end up with this crud! I did however start a book I wanted to make. Its a journal and hopefully it will be a Christmas present. Maybe if I can get it done and halfway decent.

Playing catch up!

Do you often wish to yourself that you remembered something? Well I try to remember too much. I am one to remember those little things. If you asked me what clothes I had on at a certain occassion I may be able to tell you. My family sometimes is shocked that I remember the little details. Hey what can I say I love to know. I found a journal the other day that I started when Stevie was a few months old. I only wrote in it for a few weeks if even that then I seen where I went back and tried to catch up on things. I always kept a calendar in the kitchen so when I was fixing supper or whatever I would go over to it and jot down a few things about the day/week. I have several calendars with his milestones on them. I slacked though when we moved in with my inlaws. I had a pregnancy calendar through out my pregnancy with Scarlett but thats not even caught up. I feel so bad because there are things that are getting away from me. I guess as you get older you tend to lose memory. Well this was one of my reasons for scrapbooking. I love to play with paper even when I was small I would have to always do something with paper. I take tons of pics through out the week but where is the journaling? Sure it comes back to me when I see the pics but its not as in depth as it could be. I was asking my mom about pics of me when I was Scarletts age. Well to my surprise there are NOT that many. What?? I was so upset. WHY? Well it seems to be that when you have your 2nd child you don't really have time to do all the stuff you did when you only had 1. I thought yeah right I can do it. WRONG! I may be taking pictures of her but where is her milestones??? WHere is the stuff we do every week? I have forgotten alot. I try to keep receipts and appointment cards to help me remember but what about special get togethers? You know the ones not celebrating anything but family togetherness... Well from here on out I challenge myself to keep up with this blog better and to write at least alittle line everyday about the day or future plans. Hey I wish I could remember when I was 4 or 4 months. My kids may thank me one day for the little stuff. So below is a little "catch up". I hope I can remember things......

August 20th: Scarlett 4 months old. Had checkup today. And 4 shots. Stevie started soccer practice. We went to Sports Seasons and bought him a water bottle and green soccer shorts. Green is his fav color too.

August 21st: I got put on part time at work. I was also so pissy about this. I went to Walmart and got Scar some baby food. Started her on sweet potatos.

Soccer practice is every Monday and Thursday.

August 26th: My Mom and Dad came over for supper. Scar is loving sweet potatos.

August 31st: Granny found out that the lump in her other breast is cancer: Yet again! (she just recently had surgery for colon cancer and a year of so ago had breast cancer in the other breast. Had surgery and had part of the breast removed.)
Oh we got a Nintendo Wii:) We went to lunch with Steven at Pizza Hut. THen for supper went to Don Panchos. Stevie finally got his 1st pair of cowboy boots.

September 1st: Annual BBQ at the community center. We picked Steph up from Midas so she could get her car worked on. We watched Izzy while Jeremy and Amy took Emma dove hunting. Emma and Amy got too hot and came to the house to stay for awhile. We played Wii. Stevie rode with Amy and Emma to pick Jeremy up.

September 2nd: I got to scrapbook as much as I wanted to. I got 11 pages done. :)
We went to Academy sports to find some camo for T but they do not sell kids camo. That sucks but Target had some to our surprise. Went home more scrapbooking!!YIPPEEEE! Scarlett ate 3 jars of baby food today. Slept for 6 hours straight!!

September 3rd: Stevie went dove hunting with Jeremy and Emma. Labor Day Holiday. My Mom adn Dad came to the house as well as Amy and Jeremy and we grilled burgers. I had to go to work. :(

September 4th: Soccer practice today instead of the holiday. I was grumpy not much sleep at all today. Found out that T has practice on Friday and his first 2 games on Saturday. Pictures are Monday at 6pm. Steph and Bobby went to Florida today.

September 5th: Today was kind of secretly sad. Do you know why? It was Granny Farmers birthday. She passed away in 1995. SHe would have been 107 years old today. I miss her so much. Steph called they are having fun. Seen alligators and sting rays. Steven is sick. I think a sinus infection. He goes to the doc on Friday.

September 6th: Steven stayed home he was sick. I got some sleep. Scarlett is being fussy bucket. She had cereal with peaches for supper and 4oz. of milk.
Steven took T to buy a new Wii game. Carnival games. I have been wanting this forever. It looks fun and is easy for T to do. My Mom called and said that Granny's surgery is set for next Wednesday at 9am.

OK All caught up some??
Today is September 7th: I am at work its 3:34am. I am cleaning today and *hope* to scrapbook some. T has practice this afternoon and I need to go to Wal-mart to get water and stuff for the games tomorrow. Emma has 2 games too. We may be there for awhile.
OK long enough. Bye for now.

Thinking!

Yes it can be very dangerous when I think about things. huh? Well when you are awake when the rest of the world sleeps that is all your mind has to do is wonder. I heard a song on my way home yesterday that I had not heard in forever. Alanis Morissette "Hand in my pocket". Do you remember that one? I often hear the question if you could use a song to describe you what would it be? I always answer I don't know. Well now I know its this one. It is very similar to my life right now. Google it and maybe you can see a video or even read the words. It probably describes you too. I have also been thinking about getting older. I will be 28 on my birthday and I have not done the things I said I would have had done by now. My life totally changed around more than I thought it would. I was always a good student in school yes often the teachers pet. So it was a great shock when I dropped out of school. I was so dumb then and yes I regret it but I have expereinced things I would have not gotten to if I would have stayed. Yes I lost out on my highschool times. At the time I did this it just seemed like the right thing to do. Now I am wishing I never quit. No one would have ever imagined that I would have done this. No one would have ever thought that I would have gotten married at 18 or started smoking cigs. I dispise people who do drugs and talk about there money situation. Hello stop buying them you would be able to eat. It will be 10 years in October since I have quit HS. I have tried several times to go back and get my GED. I took it once but failed it by 1 point. I am determined to follow through this time and not let anything stop me not even my self. I am tired of quiting!!!! I want to better myself in so many ways. I really am a smart person. I just feel dumb sometimes. Steven asks all the time why I put myself down and the answer I give is I don't know. Well I think I do know. I feel so small sometimes talking to other people who have it made (or act like they do) I get bothered by things I cannot control too often. I guess its just the way I am.

Today is Tuesday

Its Tuesday morning at 3:45. I am still at work waiting for 5am to hurry along. We sold our truck on Friday. It was a very good idea to do. We need the money plus it just sits and hardly ever gets driven. It ate up the gas and we needed tires for it we could not afford. Oh well it is best I guess. As long as we can make the one vehicle situation work for us at least til the first of the year. I want to get out of debt and start saving for the future like we should have been doing all along. In October we will be married 10 years. That is a very long time and not to have any savings or a house of our own is sad. Not to mention we are almost 30 years old. I know I am just bitching about it and I will be fine. I know its for the best and everything will be better soon.

Random Thoughts

I love for my mind to wander off and think about the silliest things. So just to list a few I have been thinking about today:

Why are there ticks?
What makes air?
Why does food taste so good but our farts smell so bad?
Its amazing how a baby knows who there Mother is just by smell.
Its weird how hard our ancestors had life and we have most things easier these days.
Its sad how easy we can spend the money that is so hard to make.
Why is there not a Leprachan at the end of the rainbow?
What does a baby think about?

OK so there are just a few of my insights for the day. I will have more to follow.

Decisions!

Why does everything has to be so complicated?? Jobs for example: I am at the same job I have been at for 10 years this November. I am currently working nights and I want on days so bad it is killing me. I hate staying up and not being able to be fully functional for my kids and husband. I miss scrapbooking too. While I was out on maternity leave I got to scrapbook everyday. I enjoy it. It gives me a chance to be creative and show people what I love to do. I am very passinate about wanting my kids to know things about my life as a child and before them. There is so much to tell them. I am afraid I will suffer from memory loss before I can tell them things. Other things that are complicated is money: Why does everything have to really circle around this? Well is it because of greed? I remember things costing much less when I was a child than now. That is like violence. Now adays you can not let your kids out of your site. We always went outside by ourselves. Usually from the time we got up til the time we went to bed at night. We never watched tv much either. Now you have to be aware of preditors. What about you try to tell your kids not to talk to strangers? Well then a friendly person approaches and asks there name and they tell them. It would look like strangers would know not to ask. Especially when children are so eager to talk to them anyways. I remember getting lost from my Mom a few times in stores. I was scared. She always taught me to walk in the aisles not between clothing or down an aisle but where I could see her or her see me. Or to even go get a associate. Well I guess thats enough of my rambling. More to come later I am sure.

Today is Friday!!!!

Random thoughts:
Have you ever wondered why people get dressed up to go to the doctor? I have I still wonder why? If your feeling bad why not just go in your pj's??
I like the color green because it is the color of the grass. Makes me happy to see green. Especially money!:)
Have you ever thought about what you would do if you won the lottery? Would all that greed go to your head or would you help out your family? I would make sure I had my bills paid off then buy a house and then help my family out. I would like to save most of it too. I know there would be people coming out of the wood works to try to get some of it.
I often wonder about things in the future. What will my kids become? How will they do in school? Will they act like hoodlums or will they be quirky and down to earth? I will love them no matter what but I would like to see my kids grow up to be the best they can be. There is so many things I would like to tell them that is one reason I scrapbook. It lets me be creative and give my family a little history about now and back when.