Thinking!

Yes it can be very dangerous when I think about things. huh? Well when you are awake when the rest of the world sleeps that is all your mind has to do is wonder. I heard a song on my way home yesterday that I had not heard in forever. Alanis Morissette "Hand in my pocket". Do you remember that one? I often hear the question if you could use a song to describe you what would it be? I always answer I don't know. Well now I know its this one. It is very similar to my life right now. Google it and maybe you can see a video or even read the words. It probably describes you too. I have also been thinking about getting older. I will be 28 on my birthday and I have not done the things I said I would have had done by now. My life totally changed around more than I thought it would. I was always a good student in school yes often the teachers pet. So it was a great shock when I dropped out of school. I was so dumb then and yes I regret it but I have expereinced things I would have not gotten to if I would have stayed. Yes I lost out on my highschool times. At the time I did this it just seemed like the right thing to do. Now I am wishing I never quit. No one would have ever imagined that I would have done this. No one would have ever thought that I would have gotten married at 18 or started smoking cigs. I dispise people who do drugs and talk about there money situation. Hello stop buying them you would be able to eat. It will be 10 years in October since I have quit HS. I have tried several times to go back and get my GED. I took it once but failed it by 1 point. I am determined to follow through this time and not let anything stop me not even my self. I am tired of quiting!!!! I want to better myself in so many ways. I really am a smart person. I just feel dumb sometimes. Steven asks all the time why I put myself down and the answer I give is I don't know. Well I think I do know. I feel so small sometimes talking to other people who have it made (or act like they do) I get bothered by things I cannot control too often. I guess its just the way I am.