Thoughts

I often get upset and sad and think about the past tonight it was Little Mike. He was my dear close friend. He was in his 50's I guess I worked with him. He visited me after I had Stevie and was always there when I needed him. I visited him in the hospital and when he was in ICU he wanted me and not his kids. Which I found sad but interesting. Those kids never cared about him but we all did. He was apart of our extended family which we had a lot of back then that truly cared and would do anything for you. So I got sad tonight thinking about him. Sad because I didn't go to his funeral because I had to stay with the kids but sad because he isn't here to talk to or see my kids grow. I was sad all the day of his funeral and regret not going. I miss him and Jesse and all the others I worked with. My life seemed simple and easy in the life of the "egg". What it took away when Jimsold it is sad. I am still bitter and hold grudges but Jim only cared about money it seemed and not his employees or the business that everyone helped build. Life was good and I'm sad to see it behind me. Life was great. Less worries. Now that's all I do is worry. Sad.

thoughts of Mondays....

well today is almost past us and we have just begun a new week. As much as I wish the week would fly by and come to the weekends I have to think that this is just rushing time. My little girl, Scarlett will be 3 next Tuesday. I can't help but wish that time would stand still just for a little while so she and my son too can enjoy there childhood. I wish I could go back to mine. Carefree days no worries. Man that was so nice. Oh just to have a summer break again. To not truly know that the next day is a work day.
As I watch Scar play outside her love for nature is abudant and her life seems perfect and only one worry is thinking what am I gonna do next! She seems so fearless and will explore anything. Don't get me wrong I love my son just as much but he is 7 and into video games and is very scared of bugs of all things! He is a boy! He is supposed to love bugs and the outdoors. So my mind is on my tomboy that I am watching playing outside. She is so bright. He is too but he seems to be sheltered by the house.
When I was his age we would be outside every single night unless it was a very bad storm. From the time we came home from school til we went to bed. The summers were the best! We played hide and seek, rode bikes, played witht the slip and slide. Took our toys outside and just played. It never seemed to matter how hot it was or if there was bugs around us or not. The fear of snakes never even came to mind. We would walk on the train track behind our house and if we heard a train we would hide in the woods, just hoping a train would not come while we were on the bridge that looked over the gravel pit and a small creek.
Then there was the many times we got to go across the street in the field and just walk and explore. We would walk to the river, look at the corn growing and just take in the many gifts from God.
Well Scar calls for a new adventure... Later :)

GOALS!!!

Not soccer goals! REAL LIFE GOALS!!!
Here are a few.....

1) Get GED
2)quit smoking
3)look into a college
4)save MONEY!!!!
5)Buy a house
6)Lose Weight
7)


I remember writing in my journal along time ago goals for the time I was 18. I am not real sure where that journal is but I know I have not accomplished anything on that list yet. I am starting over!! New list that is somewhat practical!! I know I can acheive!!

New saying: The little engine that could~ I KNOW I CAN!!!!
I will keep trying til I achevie what I want! I will not give up nor will I kick myself for screwing up. All I can do is try, try and try again. Practice really does make perfect!! YOU CAN DO IT! BELEIVE! (beleive to acheive)

Picking back up from where I left off...

Lets see....
Saturday, October 6th: Emma had a soccer game but we did not go. We rested awhile longer. T had a game at noon. My Dad got out of the hospital Saturday morning. After the game Steph, Amy and I went shopping at Opry Mills. Then we all went to Stephs that night for Pizza. We got home around 11pm.
Sunday we went to lunch at Applebees. We got T's costume. He is going to be a Ninja. We got some stuff for the little party we are planning for the 20th. We went home and rested the rest of the afternoon. I had to come to work ofcourse!
Monday~ No soccer practice for T today. We went to visit my Mom and Dad for alittle while. Granny got the results from her PET scan. It all looks great! She has to go this Friday for a ultrasound to see what the other stuff is in her breast area that they did not know about. Next Wed the 17th she will have the Masectomy.
Tuesday~ T had soccer at 6pm. We picked my Dad up and took him with us. We went to Strattons and had supper. We had a great time. Then we had to run by Wal-mart. THere was a snake in the parking lot. Ofcourse Steven and my Dad had to get out and play wtih it. Silly Kids! I am thinking the theme for that LO is "snake ragglers" They looked so funny trying to get it over to the side.
So I think that brings me back up to date.

Scarlett is growing so fast. I wish it would slow down abit. I feel like I am missing something because of working at night and being so tired during the day. I feel like this is pushing back her progress. I know she is growing great but I still wonder! She ate some Pears and Peas for supper tonight but she gagged at the Peas. She is not really acting like she wants food yet. In her own time I guess. She is gobbling the milk really good though.

Stevie is still enjoying Soccer. His last game will be the 20th. He will be sad when it is over. He loves it. I think we are going to find something else for him to do this winter. Maybe Karate! We got his pics back today from soccer. THey are great! I ordered him some sports cards but they spelled our last name wrong. THey put an S on the end of Baskin!! I will be calling tomorrow!!

I am going today (Wed.) to take my Practice GED test. After I take this then if I pass good enough they will send me for my "real" test. I am nervous and excited!! I would like to go to school after this is over. I would like to got to be a CNA or MA. Certified Nursing Assistant or Medical Assistant. I will see though. I am not sure!

catch up!

Lets see where do I even start??
I should be a better writer and start writing more like I planned.
Ummmm....Let see....

Stevie had a soccer game on Sept. 29th, Saturday but it was put off so he played it on Monday night. Emma had a game and we watched hers. Steven got the tree cut down in the backyard that had fallen a month or so ago. We went to eat at Logans and went to Hobby Lobby.
Sunday~ Scarlett and I went to church then we went to Grannys for lunch. I made Spaghetti and Meatballs. Baked with Cheese! Momma took Daddy to the ER because of his phenmonia. They kept him and put him on oxygen. They also said he had a touch of Emphesema(?sp) I remember them saying this when we were little though. Anyways he stayed in the hospital at Baptist all week came home Saturday the 8th.
Not really too much the rest of the week. On Wednesday the 3rd Granny had a PET scan. The results will be in Monday the 8th. I stayed with my Dad for a little while on Wed. while my Mom was with Granny. I stayed for a while Thursday afternoon while she was at work too. Friday Stevie should've had soccer but he did not go instead Steven and I went to see Korn. We got $10 tickets! We sat in the section they were calling the Korn Hole!
Gotta go for now!

Aww weekends!

Well this was a great weekend! No rest as usual though.
Friday I got a new camera! A Nikon D40! LOVE IT!!
This was also Amys birthday! She turned 30.
Saturday: Emma and Stevie had soccer games. They did good. Em wanted a doughnut the whole time though. LOL!! THat was cute! I got to help out in the concession stand. Then it was T's turn to play. He did really good. I am proud of that little guy!!
Then we went to Walmart and got stuff for Amy's party and went home. T was calling it a weiner party!! HA HA!! Weinie Roast!! We had a GREAT time being with everyone. Scarlett got tired though so we left at almost 9pm.
Sunday: Homecoming at church me and the kids went. It was a great service. Kids were somewhat good. Except T saying how bored he was the whole time! UGH! Then we ate lunch at church. We set with my Granny. Mom, Steph, Amy, Emma, Izzy and Marlene. The babies were playing in the floor and I think they were talking and having a cute conversation. They had booboo lips at different points. I got some cute pics and plan to scrapbook them. I think the title may be "A conversation between cousins"
Then we went home and went to Toysrus. Memaw and Papaw got Scar a new jumparoo and T a Home Depot set of tools. He looks so cute in his hardhat. We got some new bottles and stuff too. THen off to the house were Daddy put the jumperoo together and Scar played for a few minutes. Then off to bed. We watched Simpsons and Family Guy with T. Good cuddle time. I love that little guy!!

Lets see what else from the week??
Thursday: Scarlett turned 5 months old. Daddy had a class at work all day about work behavior and how to be "happy"?? Hmmm??? He is a supervisor now!! YEAH! Also T had practice.
Wednesday: I went to see a counsler about my GED process. I am PROUD to say I am almost there!! This wed. I will take the official practice test and if I pass that then the official GED!! I could be done before November!! YEAH!! It took 10 years!
Tuesday: Can't remember anything really??
Monday: Soccer practice.
Sunday the 16th we had a family lunch at Granny's. I made meatlaof and mashed potatos and mac and cheese. We had a great dinner! Hope to have dinners more often!

Bad, Very Bad Cancer!!

That is such a nasty word. It makes me shiver just saying CANCER.
Well yes Granny had her surgery today. They had to take all lymph nodes out. The reason for this is because they found cancer in the main one and it has a chance of getting to the others so they take all out. They take them out at your arm pitt. Lovely huh?? Granny is doing good. She is in very good spirits. I don't think she would really let us know how she felt either way. She is a very strong person. I admire her for her strength and everything she has dealt with in her life. Its amazing how you can go through so much in one lifetime and you don't show others how bad you are bothered by it. I know she has to have her moments but she is good about covering them up from others. As close as I am to Granny I have never really seen her break down. She has never let it out. (atleast not with me) I know sometimes I complain how things are and she does too but I guess she has a right???
Today I spent my day at the hospital with my Mom waiting to hear about Granny. Uncle Horace and Judy came out it was nice to sit and talk with them while we ate our lunch. Judy has had breast cancer also and just finished up her last treatment. She looks good and seems to be same old Judy. (atleast to me) I have not had much sleep and I think I may of dosed off while working a few times oh and the one time my boss scared the piss out of me. Gosh he came in here and banged the door. I was just laying my head on the desk. I have learned my listen no more while I ver do that again. I missed T and Scar today. I usually get to spend most of the day with them but since I was with Granny I did not. Oh well i will make up for it.
I brought T some toys for beign good and some doughnuts. YUM!!